Updated: Oct 3
Most of us treasure the family we were born into. Forming your own family unit and bringing together your extended family is usually one of the joys of marriage and can bring support in the form of a shoulder to lean on when you fall on hard times. We create memories together as your family grows and children fill your house with laughter and joy. Going through a divorce might seem like the end of all those treasured connections you’ve built over the years, but it doesn’t have to be this way.
What to expect from your relatives, in-laws and friends.
Adjusting to your new normal might be tricky for a while until you find your balance and create a new game plan that makes sense for you and your family. During divorce, parents usually focus all their attention on maintaining a healthy relationship with their children, while neglecting to consider how important maintaining relationships with extended family is for their children. Grandparents, aunts, and uncles are often very important to your children, they are a big part of the traditions during celebrations and holidays, so it is healthy to reassure your children that their parents’ divorce does not mean losing their favorite family members or missing out on important family traditions.
Include family members in your children’s lives to help them cope during divorce
be part of significant family events and to foster contact with these important people. You and your spouse should keep an open communication about your schedules and upcoming family events, to avoid miscommunications when coordinating visits and proactively planning around the time each one of you has to spend with your kids.
Another step you and your spouse should take to ensure your children can have a fulfilling relationship with their extended family is to keep them in the loop of your children’s special events, these can be things like birthday parties, school functions, extracurricular performances, and basically any special moment your children would like them to be a part of. This helps extended family members feel included in your children’s lives and in turn, reassures your children that although things will look a little different after your divorce, their family will never be left out of their lives.
How do I shelter my children from toxic relatives?
As a divorce attorney in Miami, we see firsthand how toxic comments about the other parent or from the new person in the life of the other parent can be harmful to the children. These comments harm children and may be used against you in court if there is a custody dispute. Family members may need to be reminded that your divorce is an issue between you and your spouse, no one should take sides, especially in front of the kids. Another frequent complaint we hear is that a family member criticizes our client’s parenting style. Encourage family members to respect your parenting style and boundaries. Above all, you and your spouse must be willing to enforce these boundaries to avoid unnecessary conflict, while your
families can and should be involved in raising your children as role models, they need to understand that you and your spouse are the parents and your rules should be honored. In any case, family should be a safe place for your children, where they can express themselves freely while feeling loved and protected, so if you feel the need to limit some toxic family member’s contact with your children, you should have this discussion with your spouse and decide how to move forward.
For children, the need for family connection will not end when their parents divorce. In some cases, it may even make these relationships more important. When you and your spouse can work together to make sure your children have the benefit of relationships with their extended family, you can help create a more secure and loving environment for them.
We Are Here To Help
We know ending your marriage and finding the right balance for your family can be challenging. Here at The Law Office of Ana Augusto, we have years of experience helping families navigate divorce in the healthiest way possible for your family. Contact us today to schedule a confidential consultation to help you make this complex process as simple and painless as possible.